Corprorate Scandal Jokes and Quotes

Corporation, def'n: An ingenious device for obtaining profit without individual responsibility. - The Devils Dictionary 1906 "When I asked my accountant if anything could get me out of this mess I am in now he thought for a long time and said, 'Yes, death would help'." -Robert Morley "I'm spending a year dead for tax reasons." -Douglas Adams "A criminal is a person with predatory instincts who has not sufficient capital to form a corporation." -Howard Scott "I do not remember in my whole life I ever willfully misrepresented anything to anybody at any time. I have never knowingly had connection with a fraudulent scheme." -J. Pierpont Morgan (1837-1913) US founder of J. P. Morgan & Co. "Scandal is what one half of the world takes pleasure inventing, and the other half in believing." -Paul Chatfield "Everybody says it, and what everybody says must be true." -Cooper James Fenimore "I think everybody is covering their posteriors with the Enron scandal and it was very convenient that Sept. 11 came along to deflect the fact that they should never have been in the White House in the first place. What happened in the election was completely corrupt." -Sandra Bernhard "Democrats were quick to point out that President Bush's budget creates a 1 trillion dollar deficit. The White House quickly responded with 'Hey, look over there, it's Saddam Hussein.'" -Craig Kilborn "President Bush's economic plan will create 2.5 million new jobs. The bad news, they are all for Iraqi soldiers." -Craig Kilborn "The Security and Exchanges Commission is going to be investigating Vice President Dick Cheney. They'll begin that investigation as soon as Congress finishes investigating the Security and Exchanges Commission." -David Letterman "Bush said we're going after white-collar criminals and I'm thinking 'Gee I wish the Catholic church would do that.'" -David Letterman "President Bush said today that he is ready to send corporate CEOs to prison and to the tough ones. You know, the ones that only have nine golf holes and not the full eighteen." -Jay Leno "The corporate scandals are getting bigger and bigger. In a speech on Wall Street, President Bush spoke out on corporate responsibility, and he warned executives not to cook the books. Afterwards, Martha Stewart said the correct term was to saute the books." -Conan O'Brien "Things are not looking good for Martha Stewart. Her stock was down 23 percent yesterday. Wow, that dropped quicker than Dick Cheney after a double-cheeseburger." -Jay Leno "First Enron, then Tyco and now WorldCom. How come all these companies are off billions in their accounting and nothing ever happens to them? If you bounce a $15 check at the Quickmart, the feds are at your door!" -Jay Leno "A grand jury is investigating the bankruptcy of K-Mart. Why? Is there any big mystery there? They sold a bunch of cheap crap and nobody bought it." -Jay Leno "You know, there was that controversial terrorist memo that never got to President George W. Bush. Well, they finally figured out what happened. Vice President Dick Cheney accidentally shredded them with some Enron documents." -David Letterman " Playboy magazine is now doing a 'Women of Enron' pictorial spread. ... Apparently the only thing these women have left to shred is their dignity." -Jay Leno "President Bush is leaving the White House for a vacation. He's taking a month off. Yeah, take a break, you deserve it. But aides say that while on vacation, Bush will continue to make two or three speeches a week to make sure that the market keeps crashing." -Jay Leno "This might be getting serious. The Security and Exchanges Commission is going to be investigating Vice President Dick Cheney. They'll begin that investigation as soon as Congress finishes investigating the Security and Exchanges Commission." -David Letterman "The big rumor now in Washington is that President Bush is ready to invade Iraq . What we should do is take the CEO's of Enron, WorldCom, and Adelphia, drop them into Iraq and let them have at the infrastructure. Within a few days the country will be ruined." -Jay Leno "President Bush was on Wall Street giving a speech on corporate responsibility. He called for the doubling of punishment for corporate crime. That means they will slap you on both wrists apparently." -Jay Leno "President Bush was in New York City this afternoon. He was giving a speech imploring people to crack down on accounting fraud, lashing out and attacking accounting fraud. And I am thinking to myself, 'Hey wait a minute, isn't that how he got elected?'" -David Letterman "Earlier this week the Senate voted 97-to-0 for tougher regulations. For example, when corporations buy a senator, they must now get a receipt." -Jay Leno "The economy is in big trouble. Yesterday in a big speech, President Bush said the economy was still getting over the hangover from the 90's. And then, the president admitted he was still getting over his hangover from the 80's." -Conan O'Brien

:: Newest Videos ::

Guess Which Man Fancies Becks?!

David Beckham’s Goldenballs caused pandemonium in San Fransico yesterday. Traffic was literally bought to a standstill when a saucy new ad campaign was unveiled depicting David Beckham in skimpy Emporio Armani underwear. Women and men alike gawped at the poster, which is hanging on the side of Macy’s department store, with unbridled pleasure and jealously. Guess which MALE celebrity recently confessed to having a little crush on David… You guessed it, it’s Craig, ‘I’m completely straight and totally don’t pluck my eyebrows’ David. Who would’ve thought?! In a recent interview Craig was asked which male celebrities he had a crush on: "It’d have to be BRAD PITT. Or DAVID BECKHAM — they’re hot! You can’t deny it. Every guy in the world thinks so." Don’t worry though, Craig’s absolutely 100% straight, honestly, we promise. Like every heterosexual man he just loves going to the gym, singing, dancing and plucking his eyebrows…

Friday, June 20, 2008

Charlotte Church Pregnant: Again!!

It seems like only yesterday that Charlotte Church and You’ve Been Tangoed, sorry we mean Gavin Henson, announced the birth of their first child, Ruby. And, just over nine months later, guess what: she’s up the duff again….

If they carry on at this rate, according to our horrendous mathematic calculations, Charlotte could have given birth a rugby team-sized-family by the time she’s 33. Let’s hope they sterilise themselves now and stop this insanity. Only joking, we love Charlotte. Yesterday she released this statement via her website:

"Charlotte Church and Gavin Henson are delighted to announce that they are expecting another baby. The couple are thrilled, as are their immediate families."

And we’re thrilled that they’re thrilled about her family being thrilled because she’s thrilled that she’s preggers. You get the idea…

Colin Farrell In Secret Wedding??!!

We’ve just got hold of reports that Colin Farrell has supposedly married his long-term girlfriend Muireann McDonnell in secret….

The Irish actor, who has adopted a rather scrawny appearance of late, was spotted walking through Los Angeles airport wearing a large ring on his wedding finger.

"He didn't seem to be hiding the ring. Maybe he has finally found the girl he wants to settle down with," a source at the airport revealed

Farrell, who has described McDonnell in interviews as the "right one", was previously married to English actress Amelia Warner for four months in 2001.

Let’s hope he managed to pile on some pounds before the wedding ceremony, an emaciated man in a suit is just plain wrong…

Breaking News: Naomi Campbell Judgment

The most delicious news we’ve ever had has just this second arrived on our desk-tops: Naomi Campbell has been sentenced to 200 hours community service and fined £2, 250. Ok, so its not a prison sentence, but the idea of Naomi spending house patrolling the streets of London collecting rubbish and God knows what else, has really brightened up our day. “So what did Naomi do to deserve this harsh punishment?” We hear you ask, well…

It seems as though super-cow started to scream foul-mouthed abuse at the captain of a British Airways flight after being told one of her bags had gone missing during the luggage problems at the newly-opened Terminal 5. As the captain delivered Naomi the bad news she instantly ordered him to get off the plane and look for her suitcase, holding up the flight bound for Los Angeles for almost an hour.

When cabin crew eventually called police to remove her she refused to get off the plane and accused them of targeting her because she was black.

During the furore she shouted at captain, Mark Sutherland: 'You are a racist, you would not be doing this if I was white.'

When police were called she yelled at them: 'It's because I'm a black woman, you are all racist, I'm going to sue you. I'm going to f*** you'.

In a torrent of swearing she added: 'It's just because I'm black and famous.'

At one stage she rang someone on her mobile phone and demanded: 'They have lost my f***ing bag, get me another flight, get hold of the press, get my lawyer.'

Eventually when they managed to remove her from the plane Campbell spat at the officers, kicked one in the groin, and another in the shins before being restrained in handcuffs and flopping into a dead weight like a child as she was forcibly ejected from the jet.

Obviously this was a rookie error by the police attending the scene, everyone knows that the only method know to subdue Naomi is a swift shot of tranquilisers, administrated via dart gun, a cattle-prod to stun her and then a thick sack tied around the head.

Simon Nicholls, defending, said Super-cow had accepted she had lost control and apologised to the police. But he added: 'I can't say she is quite so sorry towards BA and I don't think she'll be troubling them with her custom again.'

Somehow we don’t think BA will be loosing too much sleep over the prospect of Naomi Campbell never flying with them again. Let’s hope they give her something particularly grotty to clean up whilst on her community service…

Saturday, June 7, 2008

Billy Ray’s concern for daugher, Miley

An interview with MTV’s Generation Award winner, Adam Sandler

Audrina’s new long-haired lover

Paris Hilton and Benji leaving Crown Bar in West Hollywood

Hottie Stephen Colletti loves Billabong

Gambar Dynas selepas Kahwin

Raut wajah pelakon Dynas selepas kahwin berseri seri nampaknya. Lebih lebih lagi detik detik bahagia sebagai seorang isteri. Walaubagaiman pun, Dynas telah berjanji tidak akan berhenti berlakon walaupun sudah bergelar isteri. Dynaz bakal muncil dalam drama terbaru mengenai slot akasia di TV3 berjudul Ezora.

Dynaz, Fizi telah berbulan madu di Boracay.

Pose manja dari dynas

Pose menarik dari dynas

PS: Persoalannya sekarang nie, betul ker dynas nie selepas berkahwin gedik dan mengatalnya semakin menjadi jadi. Sila komen sikit kengkawan yang lawat disini.

Chi OAG dan Irene Santiago mesra maut?

Apa ke-hel nya YOB!!!!

Seorang Pemuda cute lagi tampan, bernama Qushairi Mohammed Razali atau lebih dikenali dengan nama Chi sedang hangat di gosipkan dengan Irene Santiago disebabkan tersebarnya gambar-gambar dibawah ini. Sedikit info tentang Chi:

Umur: 29 Tahun
Tarikh Lahir: 8 Ogos 1977
Tempat Lahir: Tanjung Bungah, Pulau Pinang

Soalnya sekarang adakah gambar tersebut benar benar gambar nya?

Jom kita tonton zazzzzzzzzzz!!!!



Cinta Ikram hanya dihati Bella... drama bersiri yang banyak mengajarnya erti ketabahan dalam mengejar cita-cita menjadi artis popular sebenar. Bagaimanapun, benarkah Ikram memang playboy dan suka mempermainkan hati wanita dimata masyarakat?? Dengarkan sendiri pengakuannya... Eksklusif di isu-hangat!

Pelakon Jue Aziz dan Jehan Miskin

Dulu pasangan pelakon Jue Aziz dan Jehan Miskin pernah digelar pasangan belangkas kerana ke mana sahaja pergi, mesti berdua. Ke mana-mana malis hiburan, malah sering keluar bersama-sama. Mereka juga sering berlakon bersama. Kini segala-galanya telah tiada apabila hubungan cinta terputus di tengah jalan.

Apabila tidak bersama, Jue juga jadi buruan media untuk mendengar penjelasannya dan apa situasinya sekarang. Jue tak takut dan sedia bercerita. Jauh di lubuh hatinya terasa pedih dengan perpisahan. Apatah lagi Jue menganggap Jehan ialah cinta pertamanya.



"Saya dah beri harapan sepenuhnya... tapi nampaknya segalanya tidak menjadi. Jadi selepas ini saya kena berhati-hatilah sebelum mencurahkan sepenuh perhatian kepada lelaki," kata Jue, 25, semasa ditemui di majlis Malaysia Bridal Gown Designers Showcase di Great Eastern Mall, Jalan Ampang, Kuala Lumpur pada 18 April 2008.

Jue juga menjadikan pengalaman itu sebagai iktibar agar tidak terlalu mendedahkan hubungan kasih kepada pengetahuan umum. Dia bimbang perkara yang sama berulang lagi. Kini dia fokus kepada kerjaya. Jue makin giat berlakon dan yang terbaru drama bersiri Jangan Main Belakang terbitan MIG Beats Sdn.Bhd..

"Saya belum ada sesiapa lagi... biarlah ia ikut flow. Kemungkinan untuk kami kembali pun tak ada... saya tahu keputusan yang saya dah buat ini" kata Jue.


Jennifer Aniston Bikini Pictures, She Attempts The Jessica Alba Bikini Ass Pose

Well, it’s not the exact same angle as Jessica Alba’s famous ass shot, but it works for me nonetheless. Anyway, once again here’s Jennifer Aniston in a bikini at some hotel in Florida getting back at Brad Pitt for dumping her sweet ass for a bony one. Aren’t you glad she’s not over it? Me too. California is just not big enough for both Jennifer Aniston and Angelina Jolie so Jenn has been spending a lot of time in Florida.Jenn spent the day working on her tan in Miami on Saturday at the hotel pool, amongst geriatrics, and guys keeping their junk covered and trying to pretend not to notice Jennifer Aniston in in a bikini just a few feet away. Seriously, how do you not just sit and stare if Jennifer Aniston is right next to you wearing a bikini?

Jennifer Aniston
(born February 11, 1969) is an Emmy- and Golden Globe Award-winning American film and television actress, best known for her role as Rachel Green in the popular television sitcom Friends. Apart from Friends, she has starred in several successful Hollywood films, including Bruce Almighty, Office Space, Along Came Polly and The Break-Up.In addition to her career as a TV actress, Aniston has enjoyed a successful film career. Her biggest box office success to date was her appearance in 2003’s Bruce Almighty, in which she played the girlfriend of title character (Jim Carrey); the film grossed $243M at the United States box office and almost twice that worldwide. Aniston’s 2004 film, Along Came Polly (opposite Ben Stiller), also did well at the box office after opening at the #1 spot.

Ramli MS and Daughter

Who says there is no sentimental side to Mr. Headmaster, Ramli MS. Looking at these pictures, RAMLI can also be the normal gentle dad. But it seems that her daughter doesn’t feel comfortable in his hug as she keeps crossing her arm across her chest protecting her, hmmh modesty. She looks very much like her mom but has her dad’s nose..

Pitching Photo Finish: DeAnna Pappas vs. Mariah Carey

A pair of Hollywood Gossip favorites recently showed off their fine form - on the pitcher’s mound! As baseball fans, we couldn’t resist this photo finish …

Newlywed Mariah Carey threw out the first pitch at a Japanese baseball game this week. No word on whether her throw made it to home plate, but at least she has a shiny jacket with her initials embroidered. That counts for something.

This week on The Bachelorette, DeAnna Pappas took to the hill against some of her aspiring boyfriends at Dodger Stadium. Most of the shlubs proved inept at home run derby, but DeAnna looked stellar. And we don’t mean her mechanics.

Mariah Carey - Touch My Body

Gambar Maya Karin Seksi Berbaju Mandi

Saya rasa ini gambar agak lama waktu maya karin meletup letup glomournya. Gambar maya Karin seksi sedang memakai baju mandi dan samar samar boleh ternampak kawasan privacy nya. Walaupun Maya karin berkulitkan putih lagi seksi Maya Karin tetap "sopan" dan kelihatan menjaga diri supaya tidak kelihatan menghairahkan berbanding gambar Zarina Ann Julie yang sedang meletup letup popularitinya :)

Lihatlah bertapa lawanya maya karin ketika membenamkan dirinya diatas pelampung...

Oh yea terima kasih kepada contributor SkyCrewz Network, Ela. Saya sendiri bukanlah fotograper sebenar dan tidak tahu menahu dimana dia dapat gambar ni, tapi kalau aksi-aksi kolam renang ni, macam aksi majalah mangga je. Mungkin Crew dia jugak kot melobi gambar nie?

Miranda Kerr’s Lingerie Launch

Wearing a funky Matthew Williamson outfit, Miranda Kerr took to the Victoria’s Secret shop in New York City’s Herald Square on Thursday for a little promotional work.

The Aussie hottie was there for the launch of the new Dream Angels Demi Bra, playfully displaying the latest line from her lingerie giant employer.

Describing the new Demi Bra, Miranda told: “The wonderful thing about this bra is that it’s really comfortable because it has this memory lining. It contours to your curves as to the perfect fit. It’s romantic, it’s comfortable. It’s a great bra, I love it.”

Meanwhile, Kerr’s actor boyfriend Orlando Bloom has been keeping busy as well. The Pirates of the Caribbean hunk was spotted out on Wednesday, filming scenes in the Big Apple for the new anthology film “New York, I Love You”.

Enjoy the pictures of Miranda launching the new VS bra (April 17), along with shots of Orlando working on “New York, I Love You” the day before.

Article Pictures (Click to enlarge):

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Jamal luah Perasaan pada Misha Omar

Penyanyi Jamal Abdillah macam guna peluang untuk luah perasaan kepada Misha Omar semasa mengadakan persembahan bersama dalam Konsert Amal Kasih Jamal Abdillah & Saleem di Dewan Pleno, Pusat Konvenyen Kuala Lumpur pada 11 hingga 13 April 2008 lalu.

Jamal mengatakan dia menyukai Misha. Tak tahulah ia hanya skrip sebagai gimik persembahan ataupun Jamal sengaja mengambil peluang untuk meluahkan perasaan terhadap Misha. Tambahan pula Misha mengakui dia memang belum berpunya. Peminat bertepuk tangan dan menjerit apabila melihat aksi `gatal’ Jamal yang macam mahu menggoda Misha di atas pentas.

“Abang nak tanya, Misha ni dah ada teman istimewa ke?” tanya Jamal kepada Misha.

“Belum… saya masih solo,” jawab Misha.

“Sesuailah…. abang pun solo juga sekarang,” kata Jamal membuatkan Misha tersipu-sipu malu.

Namun Misha sporting dan mengikut rentak Jamal apabila dibawa berbicara pasal hati dan perasaan pada malam itu. Mereka berduet lagu Sandarkan Pada Kenangan pada konsert itu. Hilang sifat pemalu Jamal apabila mengusik Misha macam itu.

Aksi mesra Jamal dan Misha di atas pentas.

Fasha dan Awie Dalam Cinta U TURN

Syarikat: Line Clear Motion Pictures
Tarikh Tayangan: 1 Mei 2008
Pengarah: Prof Madya A. Razak Mohaideen
Pelakon: Awie : Faiz (Pelakon Utama), Fasha Sandha: Juliana (Pelakon Utama), Mazlan Pet Pet: Hafiz (Pelakon Utama), Abu Bakar Omar : Datuk Shuib (Pelakon Pembantu), Jalaluddin Hasan : Datuk Jamaluddin (Pelakon Pembantu), Azlee Senario: Manager (Anuar) (Pelakon Pembantu)
Fiza Elite: Lilly (Pelakon Pembantu)
Krew: Mohd Erman: (Pengarah Fotografi), Faizul A. Rashid : (Penyunting), Aileen Seet: (Pengurus Produksi)
Penerbit: Latiff Mohaideen

Sinopsis Cinta U Turn

Datuk Shuib mempunyai seorang anak bernama Faiz. Dia ingin anaknya itu mengambil alih perniagaan beliau dan mengahwini seorang gadis, Juliana, iaitu anak kepada sahabatnya itu Datuk Jamal. Kekeliruan identiti Juliana berlaku apabila gambar Juliana telah bertukar dengan
gambar seorang gadis yang tidak menepati citarasa Faiz.

Dengan segala yang berlaku Faiz telah membuat keputusan untuk melarikan diri. Setelah melarikan diri, Faiz pula berkenalan dengan Hafiz. Sebuah persahabatan telah terjalin diantara mereka dan telah bersama-sama berkerja di sebuah bengkel.

Pada suatu hari Juliana datang ke bengkel kereta itu dan telah membuat Faiz jatuh cinta dengannya. Faiz pula sanggup melakukan apa sahaja untuk Juliana sehingga akhirnya berjaya menawan hati Datuk Jamal. Faiz telah ditawarkan kerja di rumah Datuk Jamal sebagai pemandu dan pengawal peribadi Juliana. Dengan segala yang terjadi Juliana berasa kurang senang kerana segala perancangannya telah gagal.

Keadaan menjadi lebih rumit apabila Datuk Jamal berjumpa dengan Hafiz yang memakai rantai pusaka Datuk Shuib. Datuk Jamal lalu membawa Hafiz balik dan diperkenalkan sebagai bakal menantunya. Faiz pula meminta Hafiz meneruskan penyamaran beliau. Berjayakah mereka menyembunyikan identiti masing-masing sebelum Datuk jamal mengetahui perkara sebenarnya?

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